"He didn’t look like a movie star. His unruly electric hair. His slight build. He looked gentle and sweet, but the eyes… The eyes had mania behind them. Mischief"
Crackshark / Gene Wilder
"So no, stakes can’t kill us. Garlic is delicious. Why would garlic kill us? Holy water doesn’t do jack shit"
Crackshark / An Alien Investigates - Vampires
"I tried, but like Macbeth, it would appear I had murdered sleep"
Crackshark / Hangover, cravings and the yips
The Olympics were invented by Theodore and Wesley Olympics in 1865. The brothers were the silver spoon sons of Rudolph Olympics, the famous hemp tycoon
Crackshark / Olympics
"However I managed to imbue those bland everyday words with enough aggression, indignation and sarcasm to fell a horse"
Crackshark / Road Rage
"It seems hard to imagine a world without the sandwich, but it must have existed at some point in history"
Crackshark / Sandwich 101
“the desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one”
Crackshark / Dear America